Beer and beard matching – Mo-vembeer(d) – Does your beer match your beard?

Beer and beard matching – Mo-vem-beer-d –  The traditional beards. (a collaborative post with Paul Fishman)

Beer and beard matching

What a beard!

My first local was in Northampton a small market town in the centre of England. A pub called the Racehorse Inn. Back then it was a place that Goths, Trendies, Hippies and a whole manner of people would happily drink side by side. One of the most famous drinkers at that time was a fella called Alan Moore. At the time I didn’t really know who he was, I knew he knew the score, but I was unaware that he was such a well known writer. I might not have been in awe of his work (as I am a little now) I was, however, in awe of his beard. He’d sup his beer with one hand and stroke his beard with the other. A perfect union of man beer and beard.

I remain in awe of his beard. Indeed, I remain in awe of anyone who is not just able to grow a beard, but who is willing to go through the intensely itchy stages of having a beard. To put up with getting beer, milk and a whole manner of food caught in it. This post is not to mock people with beards but to raise a glass to them.

For this post I am working with fellow booze writer Paul Fishman – he is concentrating on the less traditional beards. We were talking about food and beer matches and somehow got onto beard and beer matching. Perfect to celebrate the start of Movember we thought. Here are some of our friends and what we think their beard says about their drinking habits.

 Beer and Beard Matching – Beard one – The Full Chin Beard

beer and beard matching

Spud and the full chin beard

Here is Spud. He is very proud of his full chin beard, so much so that he has decided to wear a fluorescent jacket in order to reflect as much light as possible onto the bearded area. This man loves his beard.

The top whiskers are crying out for something lightly coloured and creamy to hang off them. To become like a walrus. The sides of the beard have been tailored, perfect mutton chops ride up the side of the face. This is a classy beard and deserves a classic pint.

I’d suggest a Samuel Smiths Oatmeal Stout. The cut of the beard pairs perfectly with the stone square fermentation tanks used by Samuel Smiths. The creamy head will hang perfectly off the top whiskers and the beer a proud Yorkshire pint. It is also vegan, like spud.

Full Chin beard beer match -Samuel Smiths Oatmeal Stout

Beer and Beard Matching – Beard two – The trimmed beard

Beer and beard matching

Dennis and the trimmed beard

Dennis is supporting another traditional beard. He has used clippers to ensure an even spread of hair across his face.

There are some patches of grey in Dennis’s beard that highlight a dark moustache area. The mix of the moustache and the cap could distract and suggest that Dennis would prefer a cold lager above all else. It is veering towards a trailer park look. Yet the image is saved by the proud intensity in his eyes and the perfectly fitting t-shirt. He is rugged and outdoors with a touch of cosmopolitan. This is a practical beard, kept for the minimal amount of shaving and perfect amount of warmth.

He needs a beard that matches these attributes; something warm would indicate something strong in ABV. But nothing too fancy, this has to be a practical beer.  It is then a perfect match for a Fullers ESB. A full bodied, no nonsense ale.

 Beer and Beard Matching Beard three – The Goatee

Beer and Beard matching

The classic goatie beard

Nic’s beard, the goatee dates back to ancient Rome and famous goatee wearers included Abraham Lincoln. It was until it’s 1990 reincarnation that the moustache goatee was born.

It is a half-way style, not quite a full beard, a bit more than a moustache. It deserves some kind of “mash up” style of beer as a result.

In Japan, hipsters are much more likely to have a smaller goatee, indeed many favour the old style Lincoln goatee. A Japanese mash up style is then the order of the day.  The Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale from the Kiuchi Brewery is the perfect choice. Not quite a sake, not quite and ale, earthy and raspberry all at once.

Beer and Beard Matching Beard Four – Unshaven or the Noel Edmonds?

Beer and beard matching

Down but not out

Paul’s beard is an oddity, it’s not quite a beard. Just as Noel Edmonds, its most famed wearer, is not quite a entertainer. Caught between lazy unshaveness and a real desire to be bearded Paul‘s face instead looks confused and unkempt. Granted it’s not helped by the resigned, sullen look held on his face, the sunkeness of many an ill-advised night turning into a regretful morning and the sad anger in his eyes.

For these reasons I match this beard with a warm can of Carlsberg Special Brew. The beer that has been helping the troubled rid themselves of thoughts for over 60 years now.

To see Paul’s choices of beards visit his excellent blog a rare and curious mix of drinking, musings and the occasional whip of dry wit, it is always rather good.

Andy Hamilton

Brewer, forager, broadcaster, spaceman occasional liar

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4 Responses

  1. DJ says:

    Thanks for the beard and beer match. You are entirely correct to identify mine as a practical beard, kept for the minimal amount of shaving and perfect amount of warmth. It’s a crofter’s beard, long enough for warmth and wind resistance, short enough not to get caught in machinery, strain soup or attract mice. You are also correct to identify my drinking tastes as practical, full bodied and no nonsense, but…

    …I’m a cider drinker. Yep, mine’s a scrumpy with bits in it. 😀

  1. November 16, 2014

    […] Britain) and I have both published a blog full of analysed beards; mine is below, Andy’s is here. To our beard donors: thank […]

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