How to open beer without an opener

Owen Mead with a big beer

Thanks for opening my beer

The smoking ban is suposed to have had a huge impact on the amount we drink. Perhaps it has but not for the reasons that many of us think. When you smoke you have a lighter on you at all times. It was a sacred item when needed but they would also readly change hands as one of the most stolen items in a pub. Despite this fact it was always easy to come but far from just lighting fags (ciggarettes, spot singgering Americans), it could be used to open beer bottles. No smoking means no lighers, no lighers means no beer.

What do we use in a world that no longer has lighters? There are a few methods that will help open a beer. In this video I’ll show you three methods that do work and that use items that most parties will be furnished with namely,  more beer, some paper and a tea towel.

How to open beer without an Opener

Methods to avoid when opening beer

Other methods to open beer that I’ve found don’t work amazingly well include using your teeth. I’ve witnessed someone opening a bottle of beer with their teeth. Followed by a whole load of blood and a rather expensive dentist bill. I’ve also tried prizing the top off on a brick wall. I ended up with a shattered top of a bottle. Once I saw a very drunk person with a huge carving knife trying to prize the top off a beer without much success. That ended badly too.

 

 

THE track used in the opening beer bottles video is entitled “beer” and was C0-written and performed by Max Milton and produced by me.

 

Andy Hamilton

Brewer, forager, broadcaster, spaceman occasional liar

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7 Responses

  1. Ahem – Swiss Army Knife!
    I always have mine with me – although I’m not sure how legal that would be in the UK now (just as well I’m in Spain, really!)

  2. Ken says:

    Like it, especially number 3. But I’d like to see you do it with a full bottle of fizzy beer 🙂 in your study please, not outside! I won’t be trying that in my house.

    • Ah well spotted Ken, yes all empty bottles with tops put on with a crown capper. I guess you want me to wear my Tux whilst doing it too. You don’t happen to know a cheap dry cleaners in the Bristol area do you!

  3. Paul Fishman says:

    Some other time, perhaps.

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